Get your ow
n diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

Locations of visitors to this page Click for Avondale, Arizona Forecast

2008-12-31 - 2:06 p.m.

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas and are ready to do the New Years Gig tonight.

I'm glad this old year is gone. I'm thinking it was a crappy year in many ways. Politically, we won't go there. I'm just happy that is ending with new players. I'm really hoping we aren't being suckered in to the same old same shit.

Personally it wasn't a particularely bad year, but wasn't much to write home about either. I think I need to see some changes now, but no grande resolutions for me. No, I can just look back at previous new years diary entries if I want those.

First, I came to the conclusion that I'm a Fat pig. Yep, the stomach isn't getting any smaller, and though I haven't gained much wieght, I look like I have a basketball under my shirt. Last year it was a soccer ball, but I'm not sure what's happening. Something has to give soon.

Sceond, What few vices I have, while not causing major problems, have left me mad at myself more than a few times this last year. I just end up with a disappointed feeling when all is said and done. For example, one of my friends, notorious for partying out with me for years, seems to be starting off drinking like always, but I've noticed that while seeming to keep on, he just hands me more wine while he suddenly doesn't seem to be indulging himself. It's done in a not sneaky, but calculted way, so I end up with more drink down and he with a lot less, as if to take pressure off of him, and leave me as the "partier." Together that might be acceptable, but only me not. So why do I have to be carefull with one of my oldest friends?

I've also felt that I've exceded my brief with some aquaintences. I forget they don't know me well, and don't have a good feeling for what I'm really saying or when I'm serious or not. I just need to watch my verbage and my parody/satire around those who don't know me well. I have to resist being honest when someone says, "Are you accusing me of being a racist?" and instead of saying "I don't know you well enough to make that accusation", When in fact I damn know well that the question wouldn't even arise if they weren't, You Racist Bitch! OK, It's out! I feel better even though she will never see this!

I also need to cut some people more slack, they are the way they are, and my "shallow" is their way of avoiding a given situation. After all people probably interpret some things I say or do in a judgemental way also, something I try hard not to do.

Now see that wasn't too bad, but bad enough for me to actually want this year to go away quick.

Be safe tonight! I will, but then again I haven't hit midnight on a New Years for at least 10 years!



about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!

previous - next

Nigerian spams again - 2010-09-11

Nigerian spams again - 2010-09-11

update for march - 2010-03-20

party time - 2010-02-07

back again - 2009-12-05

Who Links Here

Consumer Disclaimer!