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2004-12-31 - 10:22 a.m.

Yesterday continued….

Dr. Atkins or How I learned to get slimmer and love the diet…..with apologies to Stanley.

First I must quit polluting my precious bodily fluids, perhaps by drinking water instead of soda, juice, Gatorade, etc. Wine of course, being good for you, is exempt, though last year it was good for me thru the year 2035. So maybe a more moderate consumption is in order.

Two, Sugar is not our friend! The USDA says we ate 158 pounds of sugar each in 1999. The Sugar Association claims 1.6 ounces of sugar every day. Get Real Guys! An 11 ounce can of Cappuccino Delight Slim Fast has 35 grams (1.2345888043254347 ounces) of sugar in it. An 8 ounce glass of orange juice 24 grams, 1 single cup serving of Raison Bran has 18 grams. That’s 77 grams (2.7160953695159566 ounces) of sugar all ready and we aren’t even done with breakfast! Even cutting back the last couple of years, I eat half the gross national sugar output of Cuba every year.

Hey Chocolate is good for you too!

Bread! Pasta! Big Carbs! I’m going to miss you again next year. We had a great reunion for the last month, but all good things must end….and I’d rather end eating you than end me!

Wow, I’m getting hungry, how bout you? Time for some exercise.

Faster than a speeding bullet, More powerful than a locomotive, Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, NO! It’s Curiouoso, trying to flee the dreaded EXERCISE!

What does a fine weight bench, a road bike more expensive than many used cars and a beaucoup nice swimming pool, all have in common? Answer: an absence of ME using them. Well the pool is too cold to swim in, so I substitute sitting and soaking in the hot tub. I’m too lazy to ride my bike so I walk instead…..out to the BBQ to do big steaks. That counts doesn’t it? 20 steps a day adds up, right? The weight bench looks so masculine in the garage, image is everything right? I mean come on; we’re trying to improve our self image here aren’t we?

Now that I’ve totally bored you with unpleasant thoughts, I have to go get some exercise walking thru the grocery store buying Champaign for tonight. Did I mention I was Hungry? Did I mention I’m not working yet which equates to the proverbial Champaign taste on a beer budget?

Did I mention, “Have Happy New Years” and Please be safe tonight!? Curiouoso*


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