Not enough time? Not enough desire? Not enough people who even notice I haven't been here?

A week ago Saturday was a long hard day. We started cleaning the garage at 6:30 in the morning and finished around 4:00 in the afternoon. What started as a cleanup for the relatives visit turned into a full spring cleanup.

The week before was a week from Hell at work. Everything either went wrong or displeased the client. Working extra hard to please a difficult client only resulted in questions like, "If you cant guarentee you'll be finished today, who should I call?"

Hey, Why not call my boss and sing your sad story? Or why not the CEO? He might listen to a whiner!

My boss and his boss both said "tough shit", in a nice way. I actually like Mr. Anal, but when he feels something is slipping out of his control, he goes nuts, thereby pissing off over half of the potential responsible parties. Now they don't care for him and won't listen to his sad stories. My boss put up with 6 years of bullshit from Mr, Anal, and doesn't trust a word he says. My old boss came to me at Thursday's big support techs meeting and said, " If Mr. Anal gives you any trouble, let me know, and I'll go to his bosses superior, and you won't have any more trouble."

I don't want that. I can relate to him. Mostly he's a nice guy, but he can't help himself when things are going south in his opinion. He just needs good drugs, like strong Valium to take at those times and everything would be cool.

Nonetheless, I want to yell, " who's the tech?, you or me? Can I just do my job without interference now and then?

Now all three of my pressing problems have been fixed, and I feel normal again.

This week I'll get some more overtime maybe $400. worth, and I can feel like it'ts worth it again.

Friday night at midnite. I'm out of bed, being told "I'm not in the mood for a hug tonight! Notice we aren't talking sex, or romance, just a goodnight hug!

I'll take care of the phsicality tommorrow thank you, SEX is nada, available anywhere, but I prefer LOve, from my partner of 28 years, or at minimum a real lover, you know, the one I don't have....

Last weekend my brother from Prescott showed up with his wife and we had a decent time. But Brother Iowa, flaked again at the last minute, and since I'm defen9ing him, made me look stupid for the second time in a row.

So there you go 10 fucked up days work or home and only now are we getting to normal, but I still volunteered to work 12 hours overtime this week! Why not?

If I'm at home I get shit about not going to the gym daily. Rat Ryan , his friend ART, and my buddy Mr, Nicaragua, all want me there! I've gone regularely, but I can't be expected to do the same bootcamp classes as a couple of 20 somethings. I do leg workouts every other day and upper body between, but yesterday's yoga class made my ankle super sore. I can't stand not keeping up with the advanced students. I'd sooner drop dead! Alreadt I'm pushing over 200lbs. with my legs in order to get the right leg to get back even with the left. broken ankle, broken knee, left side stroke, I need to push enough weight to make that side work and get back to the calves I used to have!

The only part of my body with real muscles were my legs, and I'm determined to get back to real definition.

If you had real questions about where I'm at and how I feel, I'd answer, but so few really care about that. Most are just reading and saying I relate, without knowing my real feelings! Oh well, what more can ask? I don't even try to keep up any more.

Some of you have no idea how happy I am things have improved, others I never commumicate with. One or two I'd love to feel I could relate too if we really knew each other. Unfortunately I've nothing to offer except empathy and good wishes, with the hope of someday actually commiserating in person. Not much help in the real world.

Love for all of you, curiouoso*
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