2005-10-06 - 10:54 a.m.How to knowingly tiptoe through a minefield and still get blown up....
I apologize to my regular readers who may not find this very interesting. I post it only for the supposed benefit of those involved and to show the rest of you why you might not have it so bad....
An open letter to N and C.
I'm not into embarrassing you by giving any personal information but I feel misjudged and insulted. Bear in mind that personally none of it means crap to me, but somehow perhaps you both need to know how an "innocent" bystander might feel when caught in the middle of your private hate war.
I don't expect either of you to change or improve nor do I care whether you do.
C you asked me how an outsider percieved the whole thing but I avioded that because I didn't want to get further involved and I didn't want to bring you down.
I trust that N will see I never took part in anything against her or took sides. I could have been a real friend to you some day.
C while less strident and public about this situation, you still managed to involve me and in your emails came off much like your sister. I could have been a friend to you as well, though it doesn't really matter.
I found N's blog on Dland one day and read it. She was on about her "evil" sister who had made a comment about "suicide girls" and lack of self esteem, on a public forum. The sister C, had not personally identified N, but still N was pissed. This peaked my curiouosity, so I found the reference to N and so found C on Myspace.
Reading C's blog, She seemed like a nice fairly normal person, not a witch from Hell. So I asked to be on her friends list. I had previously asked to be on N's list there also. C refused saying one of my other friends was not her friend. N I correctly assumed. C then wrote me asking questions about how I found her and why would I want to read her. She also spoke of her sister N and how they hated each other. After my explanation of the above, somewhat abbrieviated, She asked me for her sister's blog address, which I said that ethically I could not give her and that N would undoubtably think I had betrayed her in some respect.
While C said she understood, though right after that I recieved a note from N asking if I had contacted her sister. I also recieved an email from N, in answer to mine stating I didn't want to be involved in thier fratricide, that someone had revealed to her sister, C, the web address of her blog causing many problems for her, and she was absolutely paranoid now, so N locked her blog and moved.
Now for the answer to C's question how I an outsider sees the whole thing....
I can see how you both irrecoverably hate each other. I don't think it's good, but with both of your actions, as revealed not by the other, but BY YOUR OWN WORDS, this will never change.....
You are both the same. N doesn't just admit, but GLORIFYS, in insanity running in her family. She admits to not trusting anyone and to paranoia. C claims to be above the fray, but jumps right in at the first opportunity to diss her sister.
Both of you can be attractive, friendly women, both of you post pictures that show warmth and friendliness, as well as pictures that show a "hard, cold" edge to your faces. N shows one that looks like she is crazed, I'm sure C has some of those also. Both of you like tattos and have an abundance of them, colorful and highly visible. Both of you have small boys that seem cute and well taken care of. Both of you claim to have mutual friends that pity the other. Both of you are absolutly viscious in your denunciations of the other, and blame the other for everything! Both of you claim some small incident in the past where you wern't perfect, but avoid taking on any blame for this situation.
N is quick to accuse or believe others are against her or betraying her. She is a definate Drama Queen.
C doesn't trust anyone either though she is more discrete in her paranioa. She is an internalized drama queen.
I suspect that perhaps at one time C idolized her older sister only to feel letdown to find her sister had a clay heel.
Since N says she should have been aborted (!) to make her parents life better, I think she resents her sister that she percieved was more favored (?).
Both of you need to take a major chill pill. Both need to absolutely block the other out and realize it's unethical to continue trying to find anr read the other's thoughts. What do you care if the other says or thinks anything??
There you have it, my view and my amature psycoanalysis, Free of charge.
I entertain no ill will towards either of you, but who needs the trouble of trying to start or maintain any relationship fraught with paranoia and distrust?
This minefield just blew me up! And to think I went there with open eyes???
Curiouoso* fucked up this time........P.S. It didn't take long, to find out I am A F**ked up person responsible for creating multiple problems in peoples lives. I'm obviously No GOOD! My Bad! (See my Notes) |
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