Amy is flying to California with Ryan this weekend. I'm dropping them at the airport @ 3:00. I wish it was yesterday! When the cat's away the mice are going to play! No not really....She just stresses me out something fierce around vacation or trip time. I always pack everything ahead of time. I'm ready to go in the morning. Amy conversely waits till the last minute then runs around like a chicken without a head trying to get stuff together. Now when we travel together I insist she's ready the day before or I threaten to just go and let her find her own way to the airport. I refuse to bear the brunt of her her crappy preparations. That has seemed to work the last few trips, but I'm not even going this time and she's still driving me crazy. She comes home and says"Did you do the fish for dinner yet?"

No one said anything to me about cooking fish. I turn the oven on and shes off feeding Midnite and yelling "I have to vacuum, I have to pack. Where's my passport, birth certificate and immigration papers? Where's our marriage license? Mel needs all that to get an Irish passport/citizenship."

Like I know anything about where she keeps that stuff, and why now not yesterday or last week? When I find it,I'm suddenly to blame that one paper is not with the rest. And the fish is still sitting on the counter though the oven been hot for a half an hour. The vacuum belt breaks can I fix it right now and Iron a shirt for Ryan?

No! I'm not getting sucked into your stress! It's Cinco de Mayo, and if I don't get any peace and quiet this diet's going to hell cause I'm going out for a margarita or three, BY MYSELF!

Now for the News.....

Headlines: PAULA WARNED 'IDOL': 'YOU SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING'... Hey Paula just admit you had sex with him, OK? Sure it wasn't a wise choice given his "Kiss and Tell" personality, but chalk it up to stupid impetuous youth. Who cares anyway? All I want to know is, "Is Paula a good lay?!"
________________________________________________________________________________

Yoda Likes Diet Pepsi; Darth Vader Eats Kellogg's... No comment needed here!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy finds snake in breakfast cereal...

Sues for a million bucks? Like the finger lady? Maybe Darth Vader was allready there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Texas Lawmakers OK Cheerleading Ban...

Can't have any girls showing thier undies, right? Maybe the Dallas Cowboys will be R rated on thier telivised games or X rated at the games...No one under 21 allowed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOEWS TO TEST SOMETHING NEW: REAL MOVIE STARTING TIMES...

And how about cutting all the Damn commercials too....I didn't pay $10.00 to see that crap!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CNN's Nancy Grace 'Played Fast and Loose' With Ethics; Federal appeals court raps former prosecutor...

Duh, a NEWSCASTER that has slippery ethics???? Will wonders ever cease? What did she tell the truth for a change?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kerry Used Presidential Campaign Funds To Pay Off Parking Tickets...

At least he wasn't paying "Ethical newscasters" to promote republican agendas or sleeping with male hookers in the White House!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woman arrested over dead babies in attics...

I hope so! I guess if you don't want one and abortions are illegal, the Christian thing to do is put em in the attic....Out of sight - out of mind!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colin Farrell Tried, Failed To Seduce 70 Year Old!

I guess Paula wouldn't have him!

*********************************

OK, OK, I give up! For once Curiouoso* doesn't even want to know!