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2008-01-17 - 8:08 p.m.

Thursday... I was a human pincusion today. Even though all my tests were good, my Cardiologist had suggested we could take images from the backside, and foolish me said "sure, if it doesn't cost me anything".

It's important to remember my infatuation with her, so if she said, "Would you fight off some lions and tigers and bears for me", I'd say, "When, Where, and what's the prize?" (I once had wild sex with a woman as a prize for beating her in Chess, but since I'm not much of a chess player, Maybe I got setup!)

Anyway, today was the day. I first saw the philobotomist for a blood test. Then I went to the appointment for a Transesophageal Echocardiogram (try spelling that after a stiff drink or good joint!). If you sound that out you'll realize that it just means sticking some big- ass sensor (Actually I hope it's a big-Throat sensor, cause I know where big- ass sensors have been!) down your throat and fishing around till you see my heart pumping away.

The nurse tried 3 times to insert the IV into my viens but failed. The second nurse tried twice but gave up . The third time was a charm but that makes sevin tiny holes in me which sounds like a pincushion to me. Then I had to drink this thick viscous slime of lidocaine which numbed everything from my upper lip to my stomach, and felt a lot like that particular "caine" taste that I really don't like experiancing anymore. The IV sedation must have put me to sleep for a few minutes as the next thing I knew my heart was beating away in living color on the monitor and they were gagging me with forcing more of this probe into my throat. I had her zap me at least 4 more time with medication, but couldn't see so maybe she faked it. Anyway I was told not to ride bicycles or go inline skating
in addition to the usual don't drive, don't take care of small children or helpless animals, drink alchol beveriges, and last but not least, Don't Blog online under the influence. So being hungry after the 18 hour fasting, we went and had lunch including something like a "Kanawahee Indian Warpath" coffee. which included Kahlua, vodca, tequila etc. with a dash of coffee.

I always listen to my doctors, I just don't pay attention.

My throat is sore, but I'm rested after 6 hours of napping today (it was nap or go on the warpath, and I wasn't up to painting my face and counting coup) so Curiouoso* is happy to blog about my day. I think I've been around enough hospitals this last year so lets make a pact together: No more Hospitals in 2008!

BTW: Once again there's not a damn thing wrong with me. Woo Hoo!


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