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2008-02-23 - 9:47 a.m.

Twice in a few hours...will wonders never cease? If you missed last night's it's there.

Saturday morning and the sun is out, I don't have a headache or any other aches and pains, and my ankle must be healed cause it's still in one piece.

Strangely enough, I have this good feeling, somewhat perverse to be sure, but undeniably a good feeling.

Last night something happened that has never ever happened to me before, not in 57 years 2 months and one day. Most likely it'll be another 57+ years before it happens again.

Now please SIX, this will seem like a worn-out "I've seen it a million times before story", but Please don't hold it against me, OK?

We went out last night to play pool. That would be the Rat Ryan, Our Linda, Rats friend, Mr. Jewelry, ( He has a big fat shiny 2 pound anklet he wears), Curiouoso* and Amy. Mr. Jewelry was the designated driver cause he doesn't drink. Not mind you cause he dosen't like to, but his fancy jewelry is some kind of new fangled Snitch that immediately summons the cops should Alcohol cross his path.

Amy went home as she was tired, and we decided to switch from a cowboy bar to a somewhat Chicano Ghetto Dive where that future (?) motorcycle rider girl was. When we got there, I went up and said "Hi" and she said she would come to our table in a while. I stapled a dollar to the ceiling that said something like Yxxx, my future Motorcycle partner. Then we got some beer and went to play pool. A bit later she hadn't come over yet, so I went over and sat across from her and started to talk. I noticed that "Prince Tolleson lard ass" had been sitting there, so I moved his beer to an empty table behind us. In a moment lard ass, 5'10-250lbs of wetback, (no offense meant to my friends)came back and stated "that's my seat." I said I'm just talking with my friend and I think there's an empty chair at the end of the table. He looked a bit confused as I just ignored him again. He said a bit more stridently "I was sitting there." I said, "well, I'm not sitting in your lap, so maybe you are confused and were sitting some where else!" A few moments later he yelled "I was sitting there!" I just looked at him like he was retarded and said "WAS is the operative word here! I think your beer is over there so why don't you go there and Fucking drink it!?"

Then I said bye, to her, and she said she would be over in a minute. i went to the bar and got a black marker and wrote on it "A stupid Fucker is sitting here", and proceeded to staple it on the ceiling right above his head.

All this was done very calmly by me. No raised voice and a "some one please take out the vermin attitude."

Being a white boy there didn't much concern me cause jewelry grew up around there.

I went a got a half liter beer and went back to the pool table, remarking to the Rat, "this beer is a good deal, but it doesn't come in a mug, no handle, which makes it harder to crack some dick in the face." Just a comment not a plan of action. The girl hadn't said don't talk to me or anything so Fuck the Asshole, he doesn't mean shit to me.

Well I guess he complained to the bouncers and the 2 fat ugly bartendresses came over and said you have to leave. I said I'm not causing any trouble we are just playing pool. They insisted so I said I just bought that beer and I'm going to get it and drink it. They both said no you aren't, but I ignored them and got it. We started to leave by the side door when I though what a fucking wuss to complain to the bar instead of coming to talk to me. I wasn't drunk or anything, so WTF??

So, I delivered him a beer for free, from 20 feet away. Drenched that Mother Fucker. Not the glass just the beer. Some one grabbed me from behind and automatically I back kicked him sight unseen in the groin. if he wants to have children anytime soon he will have to use a turkey baster cause his balls are flat as a pancake now. Apparently some one was about to cold cock me with a chair from behind, when he got decked by jewelry. Rat Ryan forgot all his martial arts and busted someone else's lip. Not my blood, tough shit. Our Linda then jumped one of the bar tender women and fucked her up good. I got knocked down and some one was pushing me down saying don't get up. Jewelry took him and threw him down in front of me. I jumped up and saw that grinning monkeyface right there. Have a nice sleep MoFo, right in the nose/lip. More blood, not mine, oh well. We left and it was like 10 to 4 but they weren't very aggressive. I said we are leaving, are you done or you want to get more fucked up? I guess the better part of Valor for them was to slink away embarrassed, so we went home. Tally: my elbow is scraped from the ground, Our Linda wanted to go back and kill cause some girl tried to pull her hair, and my ankle is apparently healed since it's right as rain. Thier toll was 2 busted lips a possibly broken nose, a fucked up grion and a couple black eyes. Oh don't forget terminal embarassment!

See someone's got my back. Perversely I'm thinking it was a good night. No one got seriously hurt no one got busted, and I believe someone will think twice next time he wants to fuck with someone he doen't know,even if that person has grey hair. AND he got a free beer out of it!

Curiouoso*'s thinking he couldn't have hit anyone THAT hard cause he still has all his skin on his knuckles! THis was truely a "one hand tied behind my back" fight cause since the stroke I cannot even hit with my left hand, but Curiouoso* obviously doesn't need it.

See SIX, I promise it will never happen in your bar especially since no one there is cowardly enough to try to sucker punch people from the back!


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