I've just hooked up and looked through 8 old hard drives I had in the garage and in the closet. I really want to find a backup of my address book and email I lost in the last upgrade. No luck! It must be on one of the many cds or dvds lying around the office, or packed away in the garage in an unmarked box cause we were going to move way back when. There's only about 500 of those!

Maybe I don't really want to find out the "x-wife we decided might not be the Psycho Bitch from Hell after all", (You know there's really too much punctuation to deal with in this sentence) 's email address, after all.

Yeah, read that carefully 3 times, then go get a stiff drink!

I had dream though last night and I think she might of been in it. I mean who else would have said in the morning, "Why would you think I was going to stay here anyway? I never said that did I?"

Maybe it had something to do with XXXX and XXXX last night, perhaps?

No it wasn't that sort of dream, but combined with parts 1,2 & 4, I had an interesting night.

Dream one was very instructive, and I really should have written it down when I had the chance, but I just knew I wouldn't forget it....right.

So I need some help with a word. It describes someone who would do something that they would know was most likely going to result in a bad end and probably won't accomplish anything anyway, but they feel obligated to try, regardless of the consequences.

Perhaps like "tank man" from Tiananmen Square "in Beijing" (that really wasn't neccesary, my readers are smarter than that!) who stepped out in front of the tanks, in a ZEN moment of knowing he had to, and didn't even let the fact that in any other time, place or universe he would become a red stain on the road immediately, stop him.

So what would you call this type of person who just knows it's time to make a stand, in spite of the futility and consequences of his action(s)?

I had the word last night, it ended in ist (like soloist) and it had elements of contrariness, fate and "active passiveness" in action, in it's connotation.

It's times like this that I think I really am getting stupider than a chicken in my old age. Who'd have thought I scored highed than 98% of the population in vocabulary as a young man?

Come on, help me out here...put it in my notes or email it to me, tamor_12-AT-hotmail.com . It's going to be the name of the new movement we will see from people who just won't take it any more. So says my dream anyway!

Yes, it's really important to me. Thanks in advance,

Curiouoso* racking his poor deluded brain!