INVESTMENTS...

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you
will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one
year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares
in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today. But, if you had
purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned
in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily &
recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol
a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the
gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!