Ok, try to see this "rival" by walking in thier shoes. You are both the same in your attitudes! (good job Curiouoso*, you've just earned an enemy for life! Maybe even two! ).

Think about it, You both want the same things....You both wanted exclusivity. Somehow while this person obviously has fine qualities, but they don't satisfy the exclusivity test do they? For either of you!

You are judging everone else you that have the opportunity to meet, ( i.e. dating service, web, etc. ) by your "IDEALIZED" standards. Think about it, financial benefits, longevity of relationship benefits, and some idealized "he loves me" benefits ( really, both of you? I actually think thats possible!), don't equal "forever" relationships. Why them compare this "idealized" relationship against the unknown relationship you might have?

Quite possibly, one of these potential suitors might be a great match for you. If you think they are too fat, too ugly, too old, too poor, OK, try somewhere else, but give yourself a break. You are too fine a person to arbitrarily reject future happiness for an already lacking relationship!

You deserve the best you can find in a relationship, but that takes work on your part, Not a defeatist, I'm worthless (compared to the other person ) attitude, that relegates you to a winner by default status, instead of a winner because I deserve it feeling!

Your physical beauty, awesome as it may be, is only on the outside. Your real beauty shines through when you express your feelings about the things that are important to you ( shakespere and communicating that love to a new generation, helping young people appreciate culture they might miss if not for you, etc, ) There is no beauty that can compete with that inner expression. Your whole being lights up at these times, and for you to suppress that for an unwholesome relationship, instead of finding someone who complements that inner beauty, is not being true to yourself or your potential.

Ok, time to cut me off if you are pissed at what I said, it's customary to kill the bearer of unpopular news, so have at, but at least consider what I proposed first. I have no dog in this race, and it's pretty obvious your dog don't hunt!

Respectfully yours, even if it doesn't look that way, Curiouoso*

Boxx, do you want to condemn me (too)?
somehow I don't think so. Ok, stone me if I'm wrong!