Then I mentioned the attractive woman at work before that. After vitually ignoring her for a year, I've been friendly towards her and she's been coming around the cube some. I just enjoy the mild flirtation, but I'm not going to lose any sleep or my job over it. I always think that if you don't pay much attention to someone who is used to men catering to, or at least trying to hit on them, they are often intrigued and more likely to be friendly when you finally pay attention to them. In this case there wasn't any long plan, but it proves the point.

I was sort of down driving back from California, even Jimmy Buffet cds didn't work to make me feel better. That's a serious case of down. I wasn't too sociable yesterday either as I was really tired all day. Then like a dummy I stayed up till almost 11PM to watch a "Chick Flic" with Amy. Strangely enough, Pebbles (woman at work) said she was tired cause she stayed up and watched "Because I said so" and was tired also.

An old Melancholy has been present lately, I have this feeling of inexhorable coming loss. It seems sometimes as if Amy & I are destined to grow apart rather than more together. I feel if you want to stay together you merely have to make an effort to take the same road. If either one doesn't want to stay together enough to actually try it is doomed. Previously I've had that feeling, but something has always happened to unite us again. I still feel sometimes that ennui or lassitude of daily life tends to result in dissolution of bonds, slowly but absolutely. The only recourse is to continually build them up stronger. Lately she hasn't cut me any slack on anything. Then later if I say something about a certain situation, shwill just sluff it off with "that's all over with now, so forget it." It's not over till the fat lady sings, and she sure isn't singing for me lately. It's embarrassing when this happens in front of your friends. I don't like them to think I'm perpetually henpecked or that Amy is really like that.

28 years ago I told Amy that if we got married I wanted to stay married because I'd been there done that and I'd rather be single that going thru the Hell of a divorce. She said she felt that too, but I'm not so sure how strong that is any more. It would be sad to scorn 28 years of effort, good times and building lives up, just to tear it all down.

We got the bills for my DrunkAss brothers bicycle accident and it's well over $100,000. so far. I hope those people have 300/500 insurence. Otherwise, he'll just get fucked again with lifelong pain and no compensation.

I know there was more, but I'm done for now.

Curiouoso* boring the hell out of everyone today.