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2007-04-05 - 6:19 p.m.

We put Midnite down Monday night. Yes, I killed him....and I can't help but think it was because he just got too inconvenient. Yes he was old; he had a terrible skin condition, he was slipping and falling a lot, and he lost control of his bladder....peeing while asleep and not waking up. None the less, I feel terrible. I gave him a fat steak and lots of goodies in the days before, took him on short walks to the mailbox, and brushed him and loved him constantly. When I got out his leash he was excited. I had to boost him up into the car cause he hasn't been able for that in years. He looked at me with his big brown trusting eyes eager to go for a ride in the car. He licked the back of my neck as we drove off. When we arrived at the vets Midnite was too busy exploring and sniffing to pay much attention to us. Moments later we went to another room and lifted him onto a stainless steel table. He lay there calmly with his head in the crook of my arm. I was already crying like a baby and so was Amy. The vet gave him a shot to relax him and his head relaxed as it slipped down my arm. He looked at me with no clue He was going away for good. Another shot, the vet listened to his heart and said "He's gone."

He was warm and relaxed feeling as Amy and I hugged him on the table. She kept repeating, "I'm sorry Midnite." I looked into his still open eyes and just felt I betrayed him.....

Now look what you've done. I'm crying again now.

I killed my dog. Curiouoso


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